Inside Soccer Sisters – Makena

When Soccer Sisters was launched, I had to find the name of a main character for Out of Bounds. I had already used my daughter, Lily, in Breakaway, so was searching for some inspiration.

It didn’t take me long. For many years, I was the head coach of a team called the Roadrunners, a great travel team that got recruited to be a part of NY Rush. That team was so amazing and super talented! We made it to the Finals of the NY Cup (lost in PK’s!) and were Champions of many tournaments, including the Delco Cup.

But most special to me were the girls and the parents. Every last one of them was dedicated and just so much fun. All of them, amazing people. There was one girl who came to our team a little later, Makena Ward. She started as a guest player – and would say yes to any invitation to play. Makena is not only talented, she is also fierce and clutch! I loved coaching her. Unfortunately, when the age changes came a few years ago, our team could not stay together. We were split down the middle with some girls born in 03 moving to the older age group.

Our last game together ended up being the championship match at a big tournament called Delco. We were outmatched for size by a great team from Syracuse. Thunderstorms forced us to play the finals inside! It was all a little crazy. We hadn’t had many chances in the game until the final three minutes when Abby, one of our original Roadrunners, who I had coached since she was 8, got the ball and made a perfect pass to Makena. Makena hit her shot left-footed and beat the keeper. GOAL! The other team was stunned, the coach just shook his head. We all went crazy. But, the game wasn’t over yet. They pounded us for the final three minutes! Finally, the whistle blew.

It was fairy-tale ending that I could not have written. People always ask me if I am writing about myself in my books, and I say, yes, there is a part of me in the characters. But, so many of the friendships and moments were inspired by amazing kids like Makena and my daughter, Lily, Kiki, Lauren, Milly, Megan, Ariana, Ana, Olivia and all of my awesome players. When was writing Out of Bounds, I was looking for an Irish name, and I loved the original spelling, Makena. She and her parents allowed me to use it. I miss coaching those kids, but am so happy to see so many of them continue to love soccer.

Thank you Makena for your love of the game and lovely name.

Play It Forward Project: Interview with Jessy Giordano

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I recently got to know an amazing coach and soccer trainer named Jessy Giordano @jgiotraining who works with some very special girls in Northern New Jersey. We are so excited to partner with Jessy and her girls, supporting the teams as they play this summer! Jessy introduced her girls the PlayItForwardProject and says it meshes perfectly with her philosophy of making better people, not just better players.

Soccer Sisters: How did the girls react when you told them about the PIFP?

Jessy Giordano: They loved the idea! Especially my youngers ones. They kept saying “I know what I can
do!” and coming up with different acts of kindness. They kept thinking about it and talking about all kinds of ideas. I think kids like pleasing other people. When we were making the video, they also wanted to take it home and think about it some more and talked to their parents about it and decided it was also something they were going to do at home. I think making and sharing the video is motivating. I’ve seen it even with my older girls. When they see my training videos they tell me it motivates them to do it at home. I think anyone seeing that video will think, “I just want to do something nice for someone today.”

SS: It looks like a lot of fun to make the video, was it?

JG: It was one of the most fun we’ve had making a video! I wanted to have strangers in it so we just approached people and asked if we could open the door, and even one girl helped an older lady with her groceries. I think they learned a lot and it makes them feel empowered to help and not feel weird about it.

SS: Your focus is on technical skills, but also on building players who have strong character. How does PIFP fit in with your philosophy?

JG: I honestly think they play so much better when they are having fun and feel more comfortable together and when they are supporting and motivating themselves and others. My girls come from all over the place, and many who don’t know each other and the only way they are going to play well is when they are having fun. I want to teach them to help each other, not just on the field, but to help even people they don’t know.

SS: What do you think is the best way to Play It Forward for teams, coaches or parents who want to encourage their kids to engage in acts of kindness?

JG: I think talk to your teams about it. I always pick two captains every week, and switch it up and try to get them to step it up. I want them to be good leaders, good teammates, role models, and mostly a good person.

Thanks Jessy!

Follow Jessy here:

www.JgioTraining.com

@JgioTraining

“I Want Them to Be Strong”: Brandi Chastain on U.S. Soccer Girls’ Development Academy

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The U.S. Soccer Federation launched the U.S. Soccer Girls’ Development Academy last week — 10 years after launching the same program for boys’ youth soccer — and our very own Soccer Sister Brandi Chastain is set to make sure its girls are taking home the right message.

As executive director for the California Thorns FC (Santa Clara, California), Chastain is also taking on the role of head coach for the U-14 team, one of four age groups in the new academy (U-14, U-15, U-16/17 and U-18/19), which will make up 69 clubs with more than 6,000 members. Chastain is determined to focus on all-around development of her players — not just as athletes but of kids playing the game they love.

She recently chatted with Julie Foudy, former U.S. National Team captain and Olympic/World Cup champ, about her role and her philosophy. Read on for the full interview. Enjoy!

(This interview was first published on ESPN.com. Click here to read the original post.)

Julie Foudy: What made you want to get involved with the development academy?

Brandi Chastain: I didn’t particularly like the way our local club was functioning. Players were like tokens. You could change these tokens for those tokens. I always felt that players were moved around too much. There was no synergy and loyalty to one team. This was with boys and girls. I saw friends of mine who had kids playing deal with it; their kids wouldn’t know until the last minute if they were playing on a team that day. There was no chemistry. It was not the youth sporting environment I grew up in, when parents all knew each other, there was a camaraderie and players hung out together with teammates.

Brandi Chastain celebrates by taking off her jersey after kicking in the game-winning penalty shootout goal against China in the Women’s World Cup Final in 1999.

Youth sports should be about enjoyment. The learning comes because they want to be there. They enjoy process, teammates. Good stuff happens. You must enjoy it to learn. I was seeing less and less enjoyment, seeing kids stressed out and playing on two-three different teams and guest playing on a bunch of teams. I was seeing kids who come to every practice every day not playing because guest players step in. I didn’t like it. It didn’t feel right.

I knew I wanted to do more coaching and have aspirations to coach at a higher level. I wanted to be in an environment where I am coaching through an entire season and dealing with all that comes in a season. The girls’ side of our local club was breaking off from the main club. The development academy was about to be formed. And Jeff Baicher, the director of coaching who has three daughters and a son, recognized that the girls need something different than the boys — not a different kind of soccer, but something else that connects them to the game, besides just the physical side and competition.

He asked if I could help him do this, and it was my chance to try and help start something and focus on developing players to see themselves as whole people, not just soccer players. Now that I’ve been away from the game I realized I learned so many things in soccer — being injured, cut or not making a team — that helped me get through tough moments in life. And I’ve used my teammates and players around me as barometers. Is this what Mia [Hamm] would do? Is this what Tisha [Hoch, née Venturini] or Millie [Tiffeny Milbrett] would do? You all helped me make decisions. What we learn from our teammates are as valuable as having a coach teaching you to pass the ball properly or trap a ball properly.

The other big thing for me is the girls’ lack of willingness to use their voice to command and demand and instruct. They are great with chitchat during warm-up, but when asked to instruct others, they are silent. I want to teach them that our voices matter. If we have information and we have knowledge and don’t say anything, you are as culpable as the person making the mistake.

Foudy: What’s the philosophy behind the club?

Chastain: Creating an environment that supports proactive, fearless decision-makers under pressure — and a commitment to those moments, right or wrong — and a lack of worry in those moments. For young girls to feel like they can be decision-makers. I want them to be able to see the game in a way that is like chess, three or four steps ahead. I want girls to give themselves credit when things are good and be OK when they’re not good. To say, I can do better. To hold each other accountable in those moments and not fear an emotional bruising if someone says something uncomfortable that we don’t like. And when you do something good, own it. Have a big smile. I want others to own it as well, to recognize it, call it out, put a high five to it, because it FEELS GOOD. I want there to be moments when you make eye contact and recognize great moments together. It’s uplifting. It’s that spiritual moment that sports provide. Girls need to embrace those moments.

Foudy: How can this development academy help girls?

Brandi Chastain showing off some fancy footwork at a Soccer Sisters event at NYCFC.

Chastain: Girls deserve this attention, but there’s still a lot we need to learn to see if it’s set up in a way that is beneficial to both the players and U.S. Soccer. And there certainly are some really neat perks that U.S. Soccer has given us. We got to go watch the U.S. women’s national team train in San Diego in July. We also got to see two [Tournament of Nations] games. We got to see it up close. I am certain that has changed these players. That connection is overwhelmingly positive. U.S. Soccer has embraced that impact and helped facilitate it.

Foudy: At the end of the day, what do you want the girls to learn from your academy?

Chastain: I want them to be strong. I want them to have a confident voice. I want them to feel they can tackle hard challenges, and although they may be nervous, that they can go forward and achieve — whether that is on the soccer field or off. I want them to know that teams function together. They help each other. The players can influence their communities as well. We are a very diverse group of players and people. That also helps us learn more about tolerance and acceptance, and makes us more comfortable with each other. Soccer is the conduit for all these lessons. My goal and my mandate to myself and other coaches is our players must improve. They cannot stay the same. That is our responsibility as coaches, without fail.

I gave the players notebooks yesterday. We have been doing goal setting on a weekly basis. I have them write down what they hope to gain out of a practice and how they can implement that in a game so they can monitor their own progress. And take some ownership in their development, instead of just a coach just saying this is what you need to do.

Foudy: Where do you fall on the high school playing limitation?

Chastain: I hope they look at it again and provide some flexibility. Maybe the rule is too stringent. I coach high school boys’ varsity soccer and I see it is a different environment. Some of the players may not be the leaders on their club team, but they are in high school. They have to take on new roles. They get to listen to a new voice. It is a valuable experience. There are lots of young memories. To be amongst your peers and wear the school letter has a wonderful social element as well. Some people say the level of soccer is not good enough, but there are a lot of positives. How do you go from being a role player to THE player in high school? That’s an important experience. But yes, we also have to acknowledge there are some kids who just don’t want to play high school soccer for many reasons — the team is not good, the field is not good — and that is understandable.

Soccer Sisters author Andrea Montalbano.

Foudy: Tobin Heath, Lori Lindsey, Justi Baumgardt and Jen Lalor are also all involved, as are nine female technical advisors supporting the 69 club teams. How important is it to get more women involved in the development academy and coaching in general?

Chastain: It is important for women to see that it is a viable place to work and you can do this work. It is so important for young girls to see women doing these jobs. But I also want the best person possible to do it. That is genderless for me. As my friend Andrea Montalbano has said: “Women who have had experience playing in college or at a high level, and don’t step up to coach, are missing an opportunity to be a positive influencer … they are missing that moment to give young girls the courage and example to do these roles.” Andrea has given a wonderful call to action to women by saying, yes, yes you can. Coaching can be for you, mom, not just for dad.

My Kids’ Youth Sports Experience Taught Me an Important Lesson in Kindness

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Note: This article originally appeared in The Washington Post.

As an author of kids’ books, a soccer coach, a mom and an advocate, I spend a lot of time thinking and writing about how the benefits of kids playing sports reach beyond the fields. In addition to being fun, I believe sports are a powerful tool for education, change and equality.

But like many parents of athletes, I also witness and fall victim to the anxiety, stress and pressure that comes with kids’ sports. Is my daughter playing on the right team? Should my son specialize in playing goalie as a 10-year-old? Will they give up sports because I make a poor decision? It’s fraught with expectations and it’s overly structured. And to me, it often misses the mark on why we want our kids to play sports in the first place: to have fun, make friends and be better people. Let’s face it, the majority of kids will never play in college, or become a professional athlete.

The author’s daughter Lily digging out her neighbor’s car.

I recently started thinking about how to emphasize the core values of sports that we treasure — responsibility, respect, dedication and compassion — in our everyday lives. I ran the idea by my children Lily, 13, and William, 10. I asked them to talk to me about these values and how they might translate what they have learned on the field into something useful in their lives outside of sports.

Naturally, they were the ones to teach me a thing or two.

My son was quick to jump in: “Mom, it bothers me that after practice there are water bottles all over the place.” I asked him what he could do about it. “I’ll pick ’em up!” Great, I thought. There’s responsibility.

Then Lily chimed in: “Mom, there is a World War II veteran in town, and I wanted to go thank him for his service. Next time I will.” There’s respect.

My son told me about a classmate who has stayed inside for recess every day for months with a teammate who is on crutches. There’s compassion.

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Just having the conversation was powerful. It led to their recognition of how easy it is to change someone’s day or impact their school or community by making these small acts of kindness a part of everyday life. This is something that kids can and should do.

They saw others act and decided to act themselves. William started picking up bottles with his teammates, and Lily is looking for that vet. By seeing and recognizing kindness around them, they transferred the conversation about sports and character from the abstract to the concrete.

Often we consider the lessons of sports as something that will benefit our kids in the longer term. For example, the CEO talking about how playing college sports taught her the perseverance to become a leader in the workplace. But what I learned, and continue to learn from my kids, is that playing sports is teaching strong values that can benefit them right now, right there on the fields, courts, gyms and arenas where they play every day.

Many families invest a lot of time, effort and resources into their kids’ sports activities. I do, as well. But now my family’s “kindness check-in” at dinner has become a part of an ongoing conversation, and my kids are actively pointing out to me the things they are doing, can do or see others doing. When I give a talk about Title IX, or advocating for girls to be allowed the opportunity to play no matter where they live in the world, I am sometimes pained by the reality of what much of our youth sports culture has become: excessively competitive, overwrought and sometimes even damaging.

[Related Article: Why the #playitforwardproject Is Parenting Gold]

Refocusing the conversation on the values of sportsmanship has allowed me to witness its power for good. It seems to be working. An elderly couple lives across the street and after a blizzard this winter, Lily came to me and said, “Mom, let’s go dig out the neighbors.”

I smiled. “Let’s do it.”

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